Saturday, October 18, 2014

Day 18 or is it Day 6 - Rollin' with the Flow

Well I completely forgot about the 31 day challenge. For those of you who know me that will not surprise you. For those who are just getting to know me .... yeah, I am a bit flaky.

I didn't make a conscious choice to quit blogging. I just honestly forgot it was even going on.

That is part of what this month/time is supposed to be about. Making conscious choices. Living life on Purpose instead of just letting life happen. So when I saw a post someone put on facebook about their post for the 31 day challenge it hit me.

I haven't posted in days! Like 12 Days.

My head said "Well that was a waste."  "Started something you didn't finish... just like always"   "Why don't you just forget about it"

But that other part of me, that part that wants to live Life on Purpose, that part that wants to be the one driving this crazy train instead of just riding along said "Jump back in! If you start posting again today by the end of the month you will have posted on more days than you didn't. And you will for sure have posted more days than you would if you stopped"

My brain is so full of ideas that some days it fills like my head will explode. Yes, some of them are completely ridiculous (like being a goat farmer) but some of them are wonderful. It is hard work to separate the good ideas from the bad ideas and sometimes I lose track of what I am doing NOW while I try to sort out my ideas for the future. But when you live life on purpose you have to be aware of the now.

For me that is often easier said than done. Sometime trying to stay on track on in the here and now feels a whole lot like swimming upstream. It is so much easier to just go with the flow and let life take me where it will. But going with the flow doesn't always take me where I want to go. For me this is a constant learning process as I figure out ways to work with my natural tendencies with out letting them sweep me down stream.

Often when I am out on the water in my kayak I "Go with the flow"; however, there are many times that there are logs or rocks in the river and just going with the flow would be dangerous. That is why I carry a paddle. So I can direct my kayak around the things that block my path as I let the river carry downstream.

That is the aim of this challenge for me. To learn how to go with the flow but use a paddle to steer myself around the things that might throw me off track or block my path. To not exhaust myself paddling upstream but to direct my life as I let the natural currents provide the flow.

So today I choose to pick up my paddle and steer myself back on track. Today I choose to keep on blogging in this challenge even though I forgot. Today I choose to On Purpose finish what I started.



Sunday, October 5, 2014

His How Keeps My Wow On Track



Like so many of my online friends I have a BHAG (big hairy audacious goal). A giant sized dream I am working towards.  But I don't want to wait for it. I don't want to work for it. I want it now. I have always joked that the movie character I identify with most is Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I say it jokingly but painfully honestly. I have every little patience and I want what I want, when I want it. I work very hard not to be a spoiled rotten brat every single day. 


 I have to say that I am very blessed to have a partner in life who helps me keep my inner Veruca under control. My husband is a "How" guy. I am not a "How" person. I am a "Wow" person all the way details make me crazy. Fortunately for me he is a detail guy. He has his feet planted firmly on the ground. That said, he is also the biggest supporter of my dream. How did I get so lucky, right?


Today we talked about where I am going with this dream. I made it very clear to him that while I want so very badly to quit my job and follow my dream full time that that is not my plan. We talked about the steps I need to take to get there. How to start small and build to great! What tools I need to grow in my skills. How hard it is for me to work on the detail work and improve my techniques when what I want is to create. 

This isn't the first time we have talked about this. But I think as this dream sticks, unlike the 40 before it, he needs the reminder that I am not going to go off the deep end and quit my day job until the time is right. And I need him to remind me of what I am working towards when I get impatient.

So I took the time to share what I am thinking with him so we would be on the same page. I shared with him the fact that my skills aren’t what I need them to be for this to be my day job. He had ideas and suggestions that were so valuable.  We brainstormed and we planned. He reminded me of the end goal and assured me that doing the tedious stuff would pay off in the end.  We talked about how I could move forward with purpose to make sure that I am moving in the right direction.

And today, I know I so blessed to have this man as my partner in this BHAG! Especially when Veruca rears her ugly head. 


Saturday, October 4, 2014

Everyday Choices

Every single day you choose the life you are going to live.

Every single day you choose to move forward or to stay stagnant.


When you choose to wake up early or to hit that off button on the alarm and go back to sleep.

When you choose to work on your dream instead of watching another episode of season 6 on Netflix.

When you choose to create the life you want using the time and resources you have instead of letting life happen to you and whining about it later.

Doing nothing is a choice just as surely as doing something is and each choice has an impact on the life you are building. It isn’t enough to want something more. It isn’t enough to dream about something more. Unless you make a choice to stop passively dreaming, get up off your duff, and start choosing to actively do, you will be no closer to your dream being a reality tomorrow than you are today. As a matter of fact, I believe you will be further away because the longer you sit still the harder it is to move.

Let me ask you a question. Do you know how much time each day you are wasting that could be used to build your dream?

I don’t want you to read this wrong. I know sometimes you just need a break. So don’t think I am implying that you have to work non-stop until you burn out and stop all together. I have traveled that road and it is no fun.

But at the same time do we really need a 2 hour break to check Facebook? Do we really need to read the whole book at once? Do we really need to watch another rerun of Naked and Afraid? According to a Neilson Report done last summer Americans spend an average of 5 hours a day watching TV. Depending on what report you use Social Media eats up between 1 and 3 hours per day.

Now, at least in my house those things tend to happen simultaneously. My 2+ hours of Facebook will happen at the same time in the same room my husband's 5+ hours of TV  happens, with both of us half watching TV and half surfing the web. Think of the time we are wasting. If I spent as much time working on my dream as I do chatting with friends about it online I would be way further along.

I am not about to get all radical here and call a Facebook Fast but I am seriously going to start thinking about how productive my time is that spend on the computer.

As they say Time one of the great equalizers. I have the very same amount of it each day as everyone else. And with each choice I make about how to spend that time I am either wasting a precious resource or creating the life I dream of.

Friday, October 3, 2014

We Found the Dress


So today I took off work and pulled Caitie out of school and we went shopping for a Homecoming dress.

Now I know you probably have two questions (if you didn’t just pretend you did)
  1.           Seriously, you pulled your daughter out of school to shop for a dress? How hard can it be to buy a dress that you need a whole day?
  2.         What does this have to do with living life on purpose?

Let me answer those questions for you. Yes, seriously we needed a whole day. I ended up having to work all 7 days last week, so our original plan of going to the mall last weekend didn’t happen and since the dance is tomorrow this was the only way to get a whole day.

You see, my daughter doesn’t wear dresses. She wore one for 8th grade graduation and that was the only time she has worn one since she was 4. She just doesn’t. She wears skinny jeans and band T-shirts. She adds a hoodie when it is cold. The end. She just doesn’t do dresses. So I knew that getting a dress she would wear was going to be a long process.

She has some “rules” for the dress. No sequins, no jewels, no glitter, not too puffy, not too short, not too long, not orange or pink. I think I got them all. If you have ever shopped for a semi-formal dress you know she just discounted 90% of everything available.

Now lets add the shoes. She said absolutely no heels. Sandals would be good. It is October ever tried to find sandals in October? Her foot is very wide so add to that ever tried to find wide width sandals in October. Just don’t.

However, we found the dress, we found the shoes, we found the jewelry, we even got her hair cut. First time in a couple years. So yes, it took all day.

Now for what does that have to do with living life on purpose? Guess what I did with my phone yesterday. I turned off the ringer. I put it in my purse. I left it there. The only time I pulled it out was when we needed to google for another shoe store. I allowed myself one Facebook post while she was in the dressing room putting her clothes back on announcing that WE FOUND THE DRESS! But aside from that I was present with her all day. I purposefully chose to just enjoy the day with my wonderful daughter without the interruptions of Facebook, twitter, text messages, and friends calling to chat.


So yes, I used a day of vacation time and yes, she missed a day of school. But it was so worth it to shop and laugh and talk with this walking talking piece of my heart. The opportunity to listen to her music and learn about what matters to her right now was for sure worth it.  


Thursday, October 2, 2014

Start today with tomorrow in mind.






I have a long term dream I am striving for. I want to make a living selling my glass art and teaching classes to others.

There are a few reasons that I can’t make this happen for a few years. One is that this town is not the right venue for my dream and we are not ready to move. Another is that we are not in a financial place at this time to go months without income as I start up my business.

Those are not the main reason though. The main reason is that I am not ready.

I am not good enough at my craft yet. I don’t say that to be all pretend humble and get people to say “Oh, but I love your work”. I say it because I surround myself with people who do this for a living and I know my work is not on the same level theirs is. How could it be? I did my first glass piece in March and these people have been creating for years. I have so much to learn before I am truly an artist.

And here is where I make my stand. Here is where I choose to take a different path that what is normal for me.

Today I choose to hone my craft instead of saying I am not as good as those people so this must not be for me.

I have a long history of quitting when the going gets tough, but not this time. This time I am holding tight to my vision, even as it changes and evolves. This time I am admitting that I have some work to do. There are techniques I need to learn. Techniques I need to get better at. Business things I don’t know. Finances to get straight. I will put the time to good use and choose start today with tomorrow in mind.

I will not look at others work or business models and believe that because I am not there today that I can’t be there in the future.

Why should I think I am so special that when I first start something I should be as good as those who have practiced for years. This idea that you have to work for it should not be new to me at 43, but it is. I have just always assumed I was supposed to be great at everything and if I did not start out great then it was not for me.

But not anymore.

Today I refuse to compare my Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20.


Today I choose to live purposefully and to work on my skills until I am ready to live my dream!


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Living Life on Purpose.

I am a reader. I love books of every kind and very genre. Because I read so often, I am always coming across tidbits of information that make me think. But every now and then I come across something that changes the WAY I think. Big difference there.

That happens this week as I was reading "Go Solo: How to quit the job you hate and start a small business you love!" by Kelsey Humphreys.

I have always considered myself a creative person.  A writer, an artist, a crafter, a lover of ideas. I often joke that I think I have gypsy blood because I love the idea of a new adventure, playing it kinda loose with the rules, and dreaming. But then I started Kelsey's book. She starts out by talking about Tolkien's quote "All who wander are not lost"... okay, we are doing good so far I love Tolkien and that is one of my favorite quotes. But then she says the thing that made me pause. She says

"You see, you can't reach your peak by wandering there. One does not wander into greatness. You cannot simply hope to eventually do meaningful work on your own terms."
Whoa. Wait a minute. Stop. Think. Process. I had to put down her book and just meditate on that for a day or two.

She is right. You can't wander into greatness. I am not going to wander my way into my own art studio where I can sell and teach my art. If I want to have the life I dream of I have to accept that I am not going to accidentally stumble upon it. If I want that life I am going to have to live my life on purpose.

So that is what this 31 days is all about. Starting small by making daily choices to live on purpose.

And please if you are a wanderer check out Kelsey's book. It might change the way you think as well.


31 Days To Living Life on Purpose: Landing Page

I am taking part in a blogging challenge for the month of October. We chose our own topics and will be blogging each day for all 31 days on that topic. I chose Living Life on Purpose. This page will be an index to all 31 days.

Day 1: Living Life on Purpose
Day 2: Start Today with Tomorrow in Mind.
Day 3: We Found the Dress!
Day 4: Everyday Choices
Day 5: His How Keeps My Wow on Track




Sunday, June 29, 2014

Community Building in a Small Town

I grew up in a small town. I understand them. I know how they work. What I don't know is how to build community in one when you are the one who "isn't from here". 



This isn't like a larger place where I could take a few cooking classes or a class in water color and meet some people. There aren't any book clubs or community bible studies to join. All the things I used to find community last time we moved are not options here. We have visited churches and while they are nice and friendly the people our age are few and far between and the ones who are there have a tight knit group of friends established before kindergarten. 

Understand that I love small towns. We could have moved to a larger place when we moved. I want to be a part of a small community. I just didn't understand how hard it would be to find myself an in. My kids are older so PTA isn't an option. Sadly there are no jobs here so I commute to work so work ins't an option. I am just not sure where to begin. 

I am a very social person and going to the store and not knowing the people I see there about kills me. I am not sure what I am going to do. I can't change the fact that I wasn't raised here. I don't know what my next step is going to be but we have at least 2 years here before moving is even an option so I have to find a way to make this work. If we were able to find a place here we might not even need to move. My wise son says that the reason I want to move is because I haven't found my place here and he is probably right.  

So while I don't know what I am going to do I do know what isn't working for me.....sitting around here feeling sorry for myself because I don't know anyone. That isn't working.


Shell


Monday, June 16, 2014

Cynical Much?


http://izquotes.com/quote/31564

I have always said I am an inherently optimistic person. I am even known to say that I am not just a glass half full person but I am a glass half full and the half I drank was AWESOME kinda person. I have always believed that things work out the way they should so worry is not going to help. I also have always believed that tomorrow holds unlimited potential for all kinds of awesome stuff. 

That is who I was. 

I am not sure when it changed. I didn't even noticed it. But it has changed and today it hit me full force. 

I am no longer so optimistic. I have actually become quite cynical. 

Today I saw the article that has been making its way around Facebook. If you follow social media of any kind I am sure you probably saw it. The article about the little girl who was turned away from KFC because her face had been disfigured in a dog attack. My first thought wasn't sympathy for the little girl or outrage at her treatment or hope that she will recover. No. My first thought was "I bet the grandmother made it up to get money". 

Then I realized that is the way I have been viewing the world for a while now. I have come to view the world through “what is in it for them” colored glasses.

Mostly I think living in a world where everything that happens becomes an opportunity for someone to push a political agenda makes me so tired. 

I am tired of 5 year olds being suspended for making a gun with their hand, the education of our children being a battle ground, mistreated vets, and $15 dollar minimum wage. I am tired of people taking advantage of the few kind hearts that are left in this world with scams. I am tired of this society ignoring the hard issues and going for the easy hot button issue that will get the most headlines. (If spun in a way to support their agenda of course)

I am tired of made up crises or hyped up crises that fit an agenda while we ignore the more important issues like two political parties who can’t get their heads out of their own arses long enough to see that they are acting like two pissed off 2 year olds while the country falls apart around them.

None of this is new. I just reached my limit somewhere. I am not even sure when. But there it is. I am no longer a glass half full person. I am instead pretty sure it is half empty and what is in it isn't worth drinking anyway.


Shell

Sunday, June 15, 2014

My Love/Hate Relationship with the English Language


I love words. I love to read. I love to write. I love to talk. Truth is I love the English language but I have to say ...  I HATE grammar.

What you have to understand is that when I write my blog I write what I am thinking and I pretty much think in one long run-on sentence so that is the way it comes out in my writing I mean come on anyone who has ever heard me talk knows that I only stop when I have to because I absolutely positively have to stop to **gasp** breathe.  Truth be told since I don't have to breathe to keep thinking like I have to in order to keep talking my thought sentences are WAAAAAYY longer than my speaking sentences. That is why I reread the blog and break the REALLY long ones down into a couple (like 4) sentences before I hit publish post. Usually.


But it isn't just run-on sentences. I HATE commas, semicolons, colons, and so on (I do however LOVE ellipses and parentheses in case you haven't noticed). I personally think most punctuation is a waste of time and effort. The rules for when to use them keep changing. They break up run-on sentences and as I said earlier I don’t got time for that. I usually don't bother to use them.  It isn't that I don't know how. I don't know how many people know this and I realize you probably can't tell it from my blog but I actually am a good writer. I have won awards for my writing even. The problem is writing in an award winning way is too much trouble. It requires me to proof read. Who wants to proof read? Not me. I am sure that some of my friends read my blog and feel the need to pull out a red pen. 

I just felt the need just one time to point out that I know how to use all the nifty little marks that you use to make it all correct. I know how to spell (or how to use spell check anyway) I know the difference between to, too, and two and their, there, and they're. I know alot isn't a word. I just don't care.

When I was in school I always got papers returned that said things like great content now make your corrections. I even had one teacher who liked to give us big red Fs if we had a spelling error.

But since I am a grown up and noone is grading my blog I don't have to if I don't want to so ... Take that English teachers of the world. In your face!

Shell

Friday, May 30, 2014

Yep! I'm a risk taker.



Buying puzzles at yard sales, yep I'm a risk taker!



I stopped by a yard sale a while back and they had a whole stack of puzzles for 25¢ each. Now I love a good yard sale and thrift stores are just about my favorite places on earth but always said I would never buy an open puzzle at a yard sale or a thrift store. Can you imagine if you put the whole puzzle together and were missing like 1 or 2 pieces?

I also love puzzles but have you priced them lately? It is crazy how much a puzzle costs even at Walmart. So I evaluated the situation.

It was an old lady having the yard sale. A sweet little old grandma looking lady. Surely she wouldn't cheat me by selling me a puzzle that didn't have all the pieces.

I also have two kids who know how to count. They could make sure each 500 piece puzzle had all 500 pieces before we do the puzzles. And if you think they would be game for that you’re as crazy as I am.

But, I decided the benefits outweighed the risk!

Yep $1 for four puzzles that may or may not have all the pieces. I am a mad woman! Risk taking is my middle name. Somebody better hold me back! Why tomorrow I might even go play Bingo! 



Shell

Thursday, May 29, 2014

7 Tips to Avoid Messing up the Space-time Continuum




7 Tips to Avoid Messing up the Space-time Continuum

I love SciFi movies. I have watched enough of them that I feel confident I could survive just about any situation. Meteor headed for Earth... no problem I know what to do. Sun burning out...easy fix. Giant Ants attacking the city... I am your woman. Mongolian Death worms look a bit like giant maggots to me and everyone who knows me knows maggots are the only thing on this planet I fear, so while I can tell you what to do save yourself, the city, and the treasure they are guarding, I am not coming close to one of those things. 

My all-time favorite theme though is time travel.  One of my favorites was on recently and that got me to thinking.  I really need to share my knowledge of time travel with you so if you find yourself accidentally lost in a previous time you won't mess up and ruin the present for the rest of us. Hey it could happen

So here it is:

Michelle's 7 Tips to Avoid Messing up the Space-time Continuum



  1. Do not kill anything. Something as simple as squashing a butterfly can mess up the Space-time continuum and then when you come back to the present the world will be overrun with giant monkey/dinosaur things.

  1. Do not bring anything back with you.  Not only will it not be where it is supposed to be possibly causing the giant monkey/dinosaur disaster as listed in #1 but it doesn't belong in the present and can cause all kinds of mayhem.

  1. Do not speak to anyone who could possibly be connected to your present. If you do you could cease to exist as your Dad will never meet and fall in love with your mom and you will never be born.

  1. Do not try to "fix" history. You can't do it. There are three possible results- 1.  Because you killed Hilter an even worse evil villain is born and the alternative is even more heinous than he was. (See the giant monkey/dinosaur referenced in 1 and 2) 2. Another evil villain does EXACTLY the same thing as Hitler because the space-time continuum rights itself. 3. Because the proper and correct reality will not be denied you aren't able to kill Hitler instead you are killed and everyone knows if you die in the past you die in the present so just don't do it.

  1. Do not leave anything behind.  This can not only cue the whole giant monkey/dinosaur future but it really confuses the hound out of the people who live in the past.

  1. Do not give anyone in the past weapons from the future. This changes the results of wars which messes with the current world political climate. I really don't want to live under ohhh… say Mayan rule so no matter how unfair you think their demise was don't give them a machine gun.

  1. Do not give people suggestions for great things to invent. Not only is the past not ready for these inventions but they might blow something up once again resulting in the giant monkey/dinosaur version of the present.



Shell

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Living Life 100% Wide Open

Live Life 100% Wide Open. That is my motto. 
It isn't an idea I came up with and decided to live that way. It is more they way I am naturally and so I adopted it as my motto. But the truth is it has both its good points and its bad.
Sometimes I feel like a I am a pendulum swinging my way through life. All the way this way, all the way that way. Back and forth, back and forth, until I have expelled all my energy and I just stop and don't move at all. Then some force (read idea) will come and move me and I start the swinging all over again until I am once more exhausted. 
Sometimes that pendulum is more like a Newtons's Cradle and my family are the other balls being bounced from one extreme to the other. Good thing for me my family and friends are kinda crazy and are usually willing to play along. 
I am sure there is a happy medium there where most people live. But if you look at a Newton's Cradle those balls in the middle... for the most part they don't go anywhere. They just hang there in the middle. Boooorrring. 
There is a huge rush to the swing. I think the biggest plus is simply that I have fun. I enjoy the highs and the swinging from one idea to the other. I enjoy life! I really do think that is a gift. I realize I sometimes drive the people around me crazy. That is why I surround myself with people who can handle the energy of the swing as well as the down time in between. 
I think that is the biggest lesson I have learned. You can spend a lot of time trying to change who you are so you will be acceptable or you can be yourself. Embrace life and live it to the fullest. But if you are going to live life 100% wide open make sure the people around you get it. Find a group of people who will have fun with you. Who will enjoy your energy and respect your down time. Not everyone can handle it. It can be exhausting. Believe me I know that. I live it. Finding that group of people is key cause nobody wants to swing alone!

Thursday, March 13, 2014

An Open Letter to Mothers of Young Children...



I saw a young mother in the grocery store the other day. She had one big enough to WANT to push the cart but not really big enough to do it and one in an infant seat. She was trying to grocery shop and she was struggling. You could tell she was tired. I didn't know her. I wanted to offer to watch the baby while she shopped. I wanted to offer to take the maybe 2 1/2 or 3 year old to look at the toys and give her 15 minutes to actually remember what she was at the store for. But of course as stranger I couldn't do those things.



Usually when I think about my kids being little I just remember baby smiles, tiny hands and first words. All the warm fuzzies that come with being a new mom. It is like there is something that happens that keeps us from focusing on the lack of sleep and yucky diapers. I am sure it is just biology's way of making sure we are willing to have more than one baby.

But, if I take the time to stop and really think about it, I remember those days. I remember the sleepless nights. The exhaustion during the day. The laughable suggestion that I nap when they nap (Just who did they think was going to do the dishes if I napped when they napped?). The feelings that I just couldn't do it. I remember. And coming from a Mom who has been there I have a piece of advise that will make this so much easier for you.

Ask for help.

It is that simple. You don't have to be Wonder Woman to be a great mom. There are no special awards you are going to get because you did all on your own. Just like you don't have to wear a scarlet letter "F" for failure if you ask for help.

My daughter was born 4 days before my son turned 2. I had one nursing, one potty training, and no sleep for months. I barely got the boy potty trained before I got a sinus infection because I wasn't able to take my allergy medication while nursing. And being stubborn, I wouldn't take strong antibiotics for the infection because I didn't want to give baby girl a bottle for 10 days. I was sick for 2 months before I caved and took the stronger meds. Then in January just one month after I finally got over the sinus infection I had drug resistant strep. I have never been so sick in my life. I was dealing with a 2 1/2 year old adjusting to a new sister and a new baby adjusting to life while volunteering at church and a local playgroup. I was worn out.

At the time I remember thinking that I needed help. I was drowning. Some days it literally felt like I was drowning. I couldn't breath for the weight of all I was trying to do. I felt like life was crushing me. And I felt guilty. Oh how I felt guilty. I had wonderful kids and a wonderful husband and a wonderful life and I felt like I was drowning.

And I kept wondering why no one helped. Why didn't my mother-in-law take the kids more often? Why didn't my husband take more responsibility. Why did people keep asking me to help with things when I was already drowning? Didn't they know that I just needed a blasted break?

No.

No, actually they didn't. Finally years later I was talking to my Mother-in-law one day about how sick I was that first year after baby girl came along. I said "I was so sick I really don't even remember her first year. I was just so run down". This wonderful woman who would have come and stayed if she had of known I needed her looked at me like she had no idea what I was talking about. "What do you mean you were so run down" she asked.... then she said the thing that to be honest stopped me in my tracks ...

"We were all amazed you were doing so well with both of them, you made it look so easy".

Wow. I made it look so easy. I was overloaded and overwhelmed and help was available to me but I made it look so easy no one offered to help. There is some irony at work right there let me tell you. I was so afraid of not looking like Mother of the Year that I missed an entire year of my baby girls life because I was too worn out to enjoy it.

And in the end guess what. No one gave me any special awards because I toughed it out. I can see now that no one would have thought any less of me if I had of called a time out. If I said "I am tired, I am sick, and I need a break" I wouldn't have lost anything but I would have gained a little piece of mind.

So I say to all you mothers of young children.... Ask for the help you need. It is okay. It doesn't make you any less of a mom to need a nap. It is okay to need a few hours to yourself. Take off the cape, hang up the supermom shirt and let those of us who walked the path before you know that you are tired. Let us hold the little one so can you eat while your food is hot. Let us change diapers and wrestle with your toddler while you grab a little sleep. Let us rock the baby while you get your hair cut.

But also know that we don't know if you don't tell us. Over time we forget how tough it was and just remember how precious it was to have little ones. So please tell us when you are drowning so we can be your life ring.

There is no honor is making it look easy.