7 Tips
to Avoid Messing up the Space-time Continuum
I love
SciFi movies. I have watched enough of them that I feel confident I could
survive just about any situation. Meteor headed for Earth... no problem I know
what to do. Sun burning out...easy fix. Giant Ants attacking the city... I am
your woman. Mongolian Death worms look a bit like giant maggots to me and
everyone who knows me knows maggots are the only thing on this planet I fear, so
while I can tell you what to do save yourself, the city, and the treasure they
are guarding, I am not coming close to one of those things.
My all-time favorite theme though is time travel. One of my favorites was on recently and that got me to thinking. I really need to share my knowledge of time travel with you so if you find yourself accidentally lost in a previous time you won't mess up and ruin the present for the rest of us. Hey it could happen
So here it is:
Michelle's 7 Tips to Avoid Messing up the Space-time Continuum
- Do not kill anything.
Something as simple as squashing a butterfly can mess up the Space-time
continuum and then when you come back to the present the world will be overrun
with giant monkey/dinosaur things.
- Do not bring anything back
with you. Not only will it not be where it is supposed to be
possibly causing the giant monkey/dinosaur disaster as listed in #1 but it
doesn't belong in the present and can cause all kinds of mayhem.
- Do not speak to anyone who
could possibly be connected to your present. If you do you could cease to
exist as your Dad will never meet and fall in love with your mom and you
will never be born.
- Do not try to
"fix" history. You can't do it. There are three
possible results- 1. Because you killed Hilter an even worse
evil villain is born and the alternative is even more heinous than he
was. (See the giant monkey/dinosaur referenced in 1 and 2) 2.
Another evil villain does EXACTLY the same thing as Hitler because the
space-time continuum rights itself. 3. Because the proper and correct
reality will not be denied you aren't able to kill Hitler instead you are
killed and everyone knows if you die in the past you die in the present so
just don't do it.
- Do not leave anything
behind. This can not only cue the whole giant monkey/dinosaur future
but it really confuses the hound out of the people who live in the past.
- Do not give anyone in the
past weapons from the future. This changes the results of wars which
messes with the current world political climate. I really don't want to
live under ohhh… say Mayan rule so no matter how unfair you think their
demise was don't give them a machine gun.
- Do not give people suggestions
for great things to invent. Not only is the past not ready for these
inventions but they might blow something up once again resulting in
the giant monkey/dinosaur version of the present.
Shell
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